0-2: Does not want to share any information. Sharing information is giving power away. I feel threatened

3-4: Reluctant to share information. Ask myself : What do I get by sharing the information? I still feel fears

5-6: Sharing incomplete / partial information. Depending on what information the others share, I choose what I share.

7-8: Sharing information helps to lower threats. Decide to observe the results of sharing and support others in doing so too.

9-10: Sharing openly selected information. Open to define with others what can and can not be shared. I feel safe.

0-2: never say what I need

3-4: assume that requesting what I need is not useful.

5-6: express some of my needs and wait for other to acknowledge

7-8: express my needs, help other understand and express their needs too.

9-10: always clearly express my needs and verify with other they understand

0-2: does not want to include people, on purpose, in communication

3-4: does not see the needs / benefits to inform people.

5-6: include close relation in the loop / does not seek who else needs to be informed.

7-8: include usual recipient in the loop and ask if any more needs to be informed

9-10: always double check that everyone who needs to be informed is actually informed

0-2: not interested in other opinions. Want to influence other to my opinion

3-4: Often in opposition with others opinions in order to achieve personal goals.

5-6: Understand that others opinions are important, still not searching deeper understanding before having my opinions validated.

7-8: Explore each other’s positions and opinions.

9-10: Hold a neutral space to explore uncharted territory. Ask questions for which have no answers

0-2: only see my point of view; ignore any other view

3-4: realise others may have a different view but do not take it into account.

5-6: Seldom share my views and wait for other to share them. Seeing other point of view but waiting for my views to be acknowledged first

7-8: See the importance of other people view. Look at the situation from the other person view and then express my view

9-10: Acknowledge other person view, present my view and then seek to create a common ground view.

0-2: Only tell / sell / yell no interest in dialogues / Addicted to be right

3-4: don’t believe there is added value in dialogues / Seeking for I win / you lose dialogues

5-6: Works to sustain openess and candor about ‘how we’re doing’ but unclear how to do so. Tries to keep open discussions and confront conflicts, but fear of risk can be challenging.

7-8: Open to Influence / Willing to experiment with new things, and let go of judgements.

9-10: Open to co-influence / Engages people in opportunities for mutual success. Knows how to push back and offer challenges where appropriate.

0-2: Using status to impress / keep distance / Does not set room for understanding

3-4: Would like to create space for understanding BUT doubt it is useful. / Have a judgemental mindset

5-6: I create space for you if you create space for me first.

7-8: Willing to open-up and create space for common understanding to happen.

9-10: Let’s see how we can create space and actively engage together in change process

0-2: only talk and is not interested is listening to others

3-4: mainly talk; seldom ask questions and never listen to the answer

5-6: shared time between talking and listening; mainly listen to answer

7-8: Listen to what others say and not say (body language)

9-10: listen to other and reflect / reframe back to seek full understanding

0-2: Not interested in others thinking or ideas

3-4: Others people thinking are not as important / interesting as mine

5-6: Others ideas are interesting but I need mine to be recognised first

7-8: Explore others ideas / thinking and seek common understanding by sharing my ideas / thinking.

9-10: Sharing and Discovering, opens us up to broader insights and wisdom / Ask questions to which you have no answers. / Inviting others to participate in answers that are co-created

0-2: only my view is important and valuable.

3-4: Doubt that integrating what others think is important will help me with my important things.

5-6: What others people see as important may be interesting after my views on possible success have been validated

7-8: Ask others what is important for success to them, share my criteria with them and then see where is our common ground

9-10: Create with the others what will be the criteria for our common success

0-2: only my criteria for success are important

3-4: Other person have different success criteria than me, really?

5-6: I have my view of success, you have yours. Not sure if we can make it work together.

7-8: Ask for other view of success, share with them mine and see how to blend them together.

9-10: Constantly seeking to create a common understanding of success

0-2: My point of view is the only one and most important

3-4: Doubt other people point of view and success vision is of any value

5-6: Other vision may be interesting as long as mine is taken into account too

7-8: Explore other vision, compare with mine and see how to move from here.

9-10: Creates a sense of shared success and empowers everyone involved to participate fully

0-2: We are professional and at work. There is no place for emotions / feelings. Let’s get the stuff done.

3-4: Asking how people feels and listening to the answer ? Really ? For what purpose ?

5-6: Show me that you care as much as I care.

7-8: I show I care for you and I create a space for you to share what you feel / think.

9-10: Genuinely care for others / Understand that my words can have various impact and carefully select them.

0-2: If other don’t understand me it’s their problem, not mine.

3-4: Telling other what I think may help to align our view. I doubt it.

5-6: I will tell you what I think when you tell me what you think.

7-8: I share my thinking with you and invite you to share yours with me. Then we see how far / close we are from each other.

9-10: feedback my understanding of what is said and make sure we all have the same view. Align when necessary.

0-2: Use position / hierarchy / power to communicate and dictate. / I’m the boss so you listen

3-4: People with lower position in the organisation may have their words to say but I don’t really care.

5-6: I understand that everyone’s opinion has value but I need them to understand also where I stand.

7-8: We both have our role and hierarchy; How can we make use of them to narrow the gaps.

9-10: Let’s forget our role / position and let’s focus on what needs to be created. / If needed, I will call the shot.